The Assimilated Gay Man

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Bainbridge Island, WA, United States
I feel myself adjusting to my age. I like it when young people address me as sir.

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I'm Older Than I Appear

Monday, August 8, 2011

Poems by Gerald Carlin

Here are the three poems I submitted to The Pacific Northwest Writers Association Literary Contest.  The winners were announced at a dinner this past Saturday.

Algebra
An expression
has no sum, a+b like
a married couple, an
expression until they’re
an equation: EX:
c = (a)(b)
Until mom (a) and dad (b)
get it on they’re just another 
collateral couple easy to
recognize.
Strangers visiting the prolific
(a)(b) = 14 equation at the bottom 
of the culdesac, might formulate
this driving by our rambler, its
dahlias & pinks our neighborhood’s 
oldest residence: EX:
interior + exterior = c + d
c (wife keeps house) + d (husband mows) = a + b
The variables are wrong.
We’re (-x + -x), the neighborhood
negative integers who won’t ever 
become an equation even if a sum, law (l)
is penciled out inside storied rooms 
off hallowed halls or the stork drops
a y on our front porch.
Despite an l = -x + -x
(a)(b) will forever equate
instantly of positive numbers, easy
like one skillet cooking, just add water.
So imbedded that tongues
stumble having to recall which
-x is which, so hard to tell us apart.



Standing On Line at the Ikea Cafe
waiting for the meatball plate with
lingonberry preserves on the side
my dermatologist calls to confirm 
a cluster of bumps on my right forearm, 
crimson like the preserves on my plate,
is a Kaposi’s Sarcoma lesion.
AIDS Cancer, we used to call it.
He can cut it off, if I want, at his 
First Hill high-rise office-suite where 
affluent women come for peels and
dermabrasion. I like this young, mod-ish 
skin doc, his GQ cool, the wide rep tie,
its fashionable double Windsor.
He bounces on the balls of his feet
dropping sterile things onto a paper-lined 
tray, instruments he will use to eliminate
proof  I’ve exceeded expectation. Stretched out
on a padded table I feel a jab-sting, he’s numbed  
purple spots that stayed put, didn’t decorate 
my jowls, claim a lung & kill me. Kill me
like my nameless fuck buddies their
glamourous bodies, testing, toying with 
risk, until tell-tale dots on limbs & torsos 
claimed the gentlemen of disco and bath houses.
I swallow a daily handful of penance.
A wicked cocktail, inhibitors & anti-virals 
keep me a relic of an era when tidal waves
landing in-slow-mo, receded taking,
taking. A sea change leaving agony & years 
waiting for a day to know why I am.
General Lee

Would he ever lean down
gently brush his lips over
mine while we wait for lattes?

He’s the Southern Gentleman I 
wanted, manners for charming
ladies, mothers--mother may I
come around to visit your son
with his bushy silver hair, like the
light from a full moon illuminating 
the yard on a clear autumn night?  
My heart hears collards, ham 
hocks, barrel-aged bourbon when 
he tells me Pat Conroy is real smart. 
I melt like fat back on a hot, seasoned 
black cast-iron skillet waiting for
his move. We’re men meant for 
each other I’ve decided, but we 
won’t be kissing if his wife 
has anything to say & I’ll wait for lattes
with my silver head man tomorrow
and tomorrow after that, never
a sufficiency to cool my jets



2 comments:

  1. So thrilled to see you have developed as a writer. It too is my salvation. I wanted to post a photo on my profile but my computer wouldn't have it. Jerry, are you still blogging? I don't see recent dates.Did I come to the party too late?

    ReplyDelete
  2. OK Jerry, so your old email didn't work, so I'm taking another shot in the dark by sending the text of the email in this comment to a ten-year-old blog you wrote. My email address, on the outside chance you get this, is jswbamboo@yahoo.com

    Hi Jerry,

    Don't know if this email is still any good for you but I'm sending this out into the universe because I am greatly moved by your tribute to Paul, which I read in the BI Review of December 13th. I read this too late to attend his services which, if they had anything of the grace or your obituary, were lovely beyond measure.

    Please accept my deep sympathy!

    If you don't mind my saying, I really enjoyed hearing your voice again in the obit's text. I hope that whatever you are doing these days, and wherever you are doing it, that it involves writing, because you have always had a distinctive gift for getting your voice into writing, a voice possessed of wit and humor and a talent for the incisive aside.

    I hope it doesn't spoil your hagiography to let you know that I found Paul's obit a real pleasure to read.

    Stay well and stay warm, take care as we enter the cold hell of the coming regime.

    All Best & Warmly,

    John Willson

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